After the papers have been signed at your family lawyer's office in Pasadena, after the tears and anger have slowed and after the sleepless nights relent, it's time to decide to be happy. Happiness makeovers after a divorce are a crucial part of your recovery and moving on. Living in the past or allowing yourself to continue to be filled with regret or pain are surefire ways to not bounce back and attract new wonders in our lives. But how do we recover from divorce while pursuing happiness?
Author of the Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin, says the classic advice we've always received may in fact hold the keys to unlocking happiness. Eating when we're hungry, getting more sleep and exercising more, says Rubin, are tried and true ways to make you feel happier. The writer and former lawyer says that being the bigger person in tricky emotional interactions is another way achieves happiness. She noticed a change in her own relationship with her husband after she stopped voicing every petty annoyance. By resisting the urge to unload negativity on her husband, Rubin says that her relationship as well as her mood became notably better.
Others like author and popular blogger Leo Babauta believe post-divorce happiness can be achieved by changing your habits. Babauta recommends replacing negative habits with empowering ones. Walking, writing in a journal, drinking tea and reading can become positive habits that change our daily lives. He notes new habits should be cherished and not dreaded. It is often as simple as changing our minds when it comes to habits."When you actually do the habit, you're happy and the overall experience is positive. That's a habit that is much more likely to stick," says Babauta.
In the end, our chances of being happy after a life-changing and often traumatic event like a divorce depends on the decisions we make to achieve a more fun and peaceful life. Being happy doesn't happen overnight and takes nurturing.
"Happiness is elusive, always just out of reach," Rubin notes. "That's why it's important to have a feeling of progress, of growth and change for the better."