The decision to get a divorce, just like the decision to get married, is filled with emotions. But divorce, unlike marriage, must be done in a cool and calculated fashion. Any good divorce lawyer in Pasadena will tell you that you need to enter the courtroom with a clear head. Yelling, screaming, crying, or trying to manipulate your spouse out of a desire for revenge is bound to backfire. Even if your spouse had an affair and made you miserable for the last 10 years, you need to be able to keep your emotions out of the courtroom.
If you have children, you must keep your emotions out of the courtroom for their sake. Regardless of what happens between you and your spouse, you will always be a parent. You must be willing to do what is in the best interest of your child, even if it is painful or uncomfortable for you. Even if your children can't live in a two-parent home, they deserve to have a relationship with both parents. Someday, when your children are grown and have children of their own, they will thank you for doing everything in your power to give them the best possible childhood in spite of your divorce.
If you don't have children with your former spouse, keeping your emotions in check just makes good financial sense. Whether you were the primary breadwinner or a stay-at-home spouse, divorcing is going to have a dramatic impact on your financial situation. You need to be thinking rationally about a settlement in order to make sure your long term interests are protected. For example, it will do you no good to "win" the house in your divorce settlement if you can't afford to pay the necessary property taxes on your income alone. Be realistic about what you can and can't afford given your new financial circumstances.
Your Pasadena divorce attorney is responsible for acting as your legal advocate. He or she is there to help make sure you get the best possible settlement in your divorce. There's nothing wrong with needing someone to talk to about the emotional turmoil of divorce, but it's best to seek the services of a therapist or counselor with experience in this particular area and allow your lawyer to focus fully on the legal aspects of your case.