So often we tend to think of divorce as a completely negative experience -- one filled with trips to our family lawyer's office in Pasadena, late nights full of worry and longs days looming with uncertainty. Yet perhaps divorces can open doors to new adventures and remove emotional blocks that previously have clouded our lives. By choosing to look at our dissolved marriages as growing experiences, we may be able to move on in a healthier manner.
In the recent issue of InStyle Magazine, two-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank claims that her marriage to fellow actor Chad Lowe actually helped her. Swank looks at her marriage to Lowe as a successful one even though most would see it as a failure since it ended in divorce.
"A lot of people look at divorce as a failure," she says in the article. "I really looked at my relationship with Chad as 14 years of success. I will carry him in my heart forever. He's a part of me."
Swank goes on to mention that without her relationship to Lowe, she may never have reached the emotional maturity she currently feels. Still a believer in committed relationships, the actress is in no hurry to remarry (even though she currently lives with her boyfriend, talent agent John Campisi). Campisi and Swank often discuss having children, she tells the magazine, yet the pair has no plans in the immediate future.
What Swank is apparently practicing is growth and forgiveness. Making the decision to view our previous relationships as positive learning tools is a powerful one. In other words, living in the past doesn't help when it comes to starting a new future. Divorce, like any grieving is a process, can bring about great personal changes. When we stop living in remorse and start living in solutions, we, too, can achieve the type of change in attitude that Swank is talking about.