The Biggest Misconceptions about Divorce


Family lawyers in Pasadena know there are a lot of misconceptions about divorce - and so does Vicki Iovine. Iovine is the author of the Girlfriend's Guide series of books, which covers everything from party planning to tips on how to raise toddlers. When her marriage of 24 years ended, Iovine had to become an expert on divorce too. Now nearly two years after she and her husband divorced, she recently published the 10 biggest misconceptions about divorce in The Huffington Post's newly-launched divorce section.

According to Iovine, one of the biggest misconceptions about divorce is that people who grow apart don't get divorced. Iovine says couples who've grown apart get divorced just as much as other couples and points to some very famous examples. "Studies show that people who no longer have a mutual and shared purpose, such as raising children, building a career, a satisfying sex life or shared goal for the future drift from each other," she notes. "Long after the multi-orgasmic years had passed, Marie and Pierre Curie stayed married through their mutual interest in physics. Same thing with the philosophy giants Will and Ariel Durant. But if a couple's only mutual purpose is to co-sign for a second mortgage or to carry the new flatscreen together into the living room, there might not be enough passion or emotional glue for the long haul."

Another big misconception about divorce, according to Iovine, is that divorcing people think an aggressive divorce attorney will hurt their case. Iovine contends, however, that when it comes to protecting yourself financially a lawyer can never be too tough. "A meek lawyer doesn't make you look less greedy or grasping to an opposing spouse, nor does he/she inspire a conciliatory mood for the sweet and generous dividing of assets," Iovine writes. "Weak representatives just make YOU look weak. Where money is concerned, assume your mate will fight hard, as should you. No one ever looked back on a financial split and said, 'Gosh, I wish I'd asked for less.'"

Other misconceptions of Iovine's list include an eternity of singlehood being inevitable after a divorce, kids accepting a divorce if they understand the reasons why and the assumption that everyone will take your side if you are the injured party in a divorce.