When filing divorce in Pasadena, women should keep in mind a few tips to make the experience less painful:
- Divorce is never easy, but women are often more likely than men to blame themselves for the demise of their marriage. Remember that marriages are partnerships. If the partnership fails, both spouses are accountable to some extent. Accept responsibility for your role in the divorce, but do not dwell on things that can't be changed. Obsessing about the past will only keep you from moving on with your life.
- For the most amicable divorce, try to avoid emotional extremes. Do not be overly passive or accommodating, since this will encourage your ex to treat you poorly. However, screaming, throwing things, and insisting on getting your own way all the time can be equally counterproductive. Strive to be calm and open to reasonable comprises during your divorce settlement.
- If you have children, you'll likely want to keep the family home to provide your kids with as much stability as possible during this difficult time. However, it's important to make sure you're not underestimating the cost of homeownership. When negotiating your divorce settlement, think about how you will pay for things like property taxes, homeowner's association fees, and any necessary home repairs. If you won't be able to afford these expenses, it may be better for everyone if you move to a smaller home or a more affordable neighborhood.
- If you were a stay-at-home parent at the time of your divorce, you may be feeling intimidated by the idea of rejoining the workforce. If it's been several years since you worked outside the home, you may need some additional postsecondary education in order to be competitive in today's tight job market. Many colleges and universities also have support groups for single moms that can help you deal with issues such as daycare needs and helping your children adjust to the changes in their home life.
- Don't feel pressured to date until you're ready. Your friends may mean well by offering to set you up with their cute neighbors or coworkers, but it's important to take the time to attend to your own emotional well being before jumping into a new relationship.