How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce


Telling your spouse you want a Pasadena divorce is not an action that should be undertaken impulsively. Before you talk to your spouse, make sure you understand your reasons for wanting out of the marriage. If your spouse is abusive, addicted to drugs, or has a gambling problem, your reasons for wanting a divorce should be fairly clear cut. If you're simply feeling unhappy, make sure that your marriage is the reason for your unhappiness and that your general mood wouldn't be better served by other lifestyle changes such as finding a new hobby to reduce your stress level or getting a different job so you no longer have to be surrounded by toxic coworkers.

Once you're sure you want a divorce, it's time to get all your ducks in a row. Take an inventory of important household items, gather tax returns and other financial documents, and make any new living arrangement that will be necessary. Find people who can provide emotional support when you're feeling down. Divorce is emotionally taxing, even if you're the one who decided to leave the marriage. Having a strong support system will make it easier for you to move on to the next chapter of your life.

One thing you should avoid if you're planning on asking for a divorce is quitting your job or cutting back on hours. If you're the higher earning spouse, it's possible a judge will see this as willful underemployment that is designed to try to get out of spousal support and/or child support obligations. Judges can punish people who attempt to evade their obligations by ordering payments based on previous income, which would create a huge financial mess for you.

When it's time to discuss your decision with your spouse, it's crucial that you remain calm. State your decision and tell your spouse that you hope to resolve the issue as rationally and reasonably as possible. Do not launch into personal attacks or try to defend yourself if your spouse becomes angry. The way in which you tell your spouse you want out of the marriage sets the tone for your divorce, so this is your chance to get things off on the right foot.

How Can We Help?

Please call our office at (626) 683-8113 or email us at if you are in need of legal representation during your divorce. Our skilled Pasadena divorce lawyers can help ensure that the settlement you receive is in your best interests.