What to Do When You Want a Divorce and Your Husband Doesn't


Statistics show that women initiate divorce at higher rates than men. In some cases, the spouses agree that ending their marriage is the best solution. In other cases, however, the husband remains reluctant to follow through with the divorce.

Since California is a no-fault divorce state, you can end your marriage whether your spouse agrees with your decision or not. That said, if your husband does not want to divorce, he can make the process more difficult.

When you want a divorce and your husband doesn't, the best thing you can do is be compassionate. It's quite possible that he did not realize the extent of your marital problems. If this is true, your decision to divorce may come as a total shock. Once he's had time to adjust, he may end up supporting your decision.

Be honest with your husband about your reasons for ending the marriage, but avoid placing unnecessary blame or trying to make him feel guilty for past mistakes. Dwelling on previous problems does no good if you've decided that you want to end the marriage and move on.

Mediation is often thought of as a cheaper, less adversarial alternative to divorce court, but it only works if the parties are in agreement about dissolving the marriage.

If your husband is not willing to admit that it's over, even the most skilled mediator will not be able to help you reach a settlement. If your husband has ever been violent or aggressive towards you, do not ask for a divorce until you've taken all of the necessary precautions to ensure your safety. Victims of domestic violence are most at risk when they try to leave a relationship. If you need help figuring out your exit strategy, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for free, confidential assistance 24/7.

How Can We Help?

Women are often conditioned to avoid conflict at all costs, but the last thing you want is for your husband to manipulate you into staying in an unhappy marriage. Hiring a skilled attorney to represent your interests can help ensure that you are able to get a satisfactory settlement and move on with your life. Please call our office at (626) 683-8113 or email us at info@PasadenaLawOffice.com to speak to one of our Pasadena divorce attorneys.