Divorcing a Narcissist


Most of the resources offering divorce advice in Pasadena assume you're seeking a divorce from a sane and completely rational person. When your spouse is a narcissist, however, the process of ending your marriage becomes much more complicated.

A narcissist suffers from a personality disorder that causes him or her to be unhealthily self-absorbed. The narcissist feels good about himself or herself by making other people feel inferior. This type of person thrives on attention and drama. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions and think nothing is ever their fault. Narcissists are very hard to reason with, which makes getting a fair divorce settlement difficult. A narcissist is never satisfied because he or she aspires to maintain total control of the situation.

When divorcing a narcissist, it is important to remember that "fault" has little or no legal bearing on the outcome of your divorce settlement. A judge isn't going to care if your spouse accuses you of flirting with other men or not feeding your children healthy enough meals. As long as you are not breaking any laws, you have nothing to hide. In court, answer all questions truthfully with short and succinct answers. Give no details or elaborations and do not attempt to defend yourself. A narcissist is a pathological liar who targets and attacks. Do not engage him or her in any way. In fact, many therapists believe you should avoid all contact with the narcissist during the divorce process and refuse to even make eye contact in the courtroom.

When divorcing a narcissist, you will need an excellent Pasadena divorce lawyer who can advocate on your behalf. Although divorce mediation is becoming more popular as a technique in negotiating a divorce settlement, when divorcing a narcissist, it is best to let your lawyer handle as much of the negotiation as possible. If possible, seek a lawyer who has specific experience dealing with people who have narcissistic personality disorder.