How to Tell Your Kids You're Starting to Date


Pasadena divorce lawyers don't recommend dating while you're still in the middle of a custody battle, but they do realize that most parents will eventually find themselves ready for a new romantic partner. There are several special concerns that divorced parents face when starting to date, but the one that seems to cause the most parental anxiety is when to tell your children that you're seeing someone.

Some people think it's best not to tell your child you are dating until you're in a serious relationship, but this can backfire if your children feel like they are being lied to. If your kids are old enough to understand the concept of dating, it's a good idea to tell them that you're trying to meet new people. They do not need specific details, but it's smart to say that you're planning to take things slow and that your dating won't take away from your time together as a family.

One thing you don't want to do when discussing dating with your children is to ask your child for permission to date. The traditional parent/child boundaries sometimes blur a bit after a divorce, but your children need to realize that you are entitled to date if you wish. Putting off dating because of your child's objections is not good for your emotional health or your long-term relationship with your children.

Children can form close attachments to adults very quickly, so be careful of introducing your date to your child unless you feel like the relationship might be serious. Generally, it's best to just make a quick introduction before you leave for dinner or a movie instead of planning an activity for everyone to do together. This makes your children feel like they are "in the loop" about what's going on in your life without making them feel uncomfortable if the relationship doesn't work out.

How Can We Help?

If you need to find a qualified attorney to handle child custody or other divorce-related concerns, please call our office at (626) 683-8113 or email us at Our skilled Pasadena family law lawyers can provide the representation you need to resolve the issue as quickly as possible.