How to Divorce a Narcissist


Seeking a Pasadena divorce from a narcissistic ex is no easy task. Narcissists love conflict, lie easily, and are masters at manipulating a situation to their advantage. To survive, you'll need to develop your own battle plan.

Narcissists are known for running vicious smear campaigns when someone challenges their self image. Narcissists also hate failure, so your ex will try to place the blame for the failure of the marriage solely at your feet. This can be hard to handle emotionally, especially if people who are close to you side with ex during the divorce. However, you must try not to take this personally. You are not responsible for your ex's problems. You'll never win in a battle with a narcissist, so accepting that your ex is not thinking rationally is essential to helping you move forward with the next phase of your life.

When dealing with a narcissist, you must maintain meticulous records of everything from failure to pay spousal support to a refusal to hand over your personal property after you've left the marital home. Records can be in a binder or as a detailed computer file, but information is power when it comes to dealing with a narcissistic ex. Narcissists are pathological liars when it comes to protecting their self image. Without clear proof of your actions, you'll be at the mercy of your ex. This is especially true if you have children and your ex is challenging your custody or visitation by calling your parenting skills into question.

Do not communicate with your narcissistic ex any more than is absolutely necessary. Let your lawyer work out the details of your divorce. If you have children together and can't avoid communication entirely, keep it short and unemotional to avoid adding fuel to the fire. Emails or text messages are better at helping you maintain personal boundaries than phone calls or face-to-face meetings.

How Can We Help?

Please call our office at (626) 683-8113 or email us at if you are in need of legal representation during your divorce. Our experienced Pasadena divorce lawyers are eager to help you get your case handled as quickly and painlessly as possible.