Co-Parenting Mistakes to Avoid


Acting as co-parents after your Pasadena divorce isn't always easy. If you’re still struggling with hurt and anger from your divorce, it will take some time to learn how to work together to do what is in the best interests of your children.

First, you must let go of the desire to “win” in family court. Do not go back to court in search of more child support or a change in custody unless this is truly what you believe to be in your child’s best interest. Court battles create conflict that can be traumatic for children. The desire to “win” a victory over your ex should never take precedence over the needs of your children. Knowing how to choose your battles is an essential part of being a successful co-parent.

Co-parenting requires cooperation as well as the ability to recognize that each person brings their own unique strengths and weaknesses to the relationship. Do not let your pride get in the way of allowing your ex to handle certain parenting tasks. If you know your ex-wife has a way with words and you hate writing anything more complex than a text message, there’s no harm in admitting that she’s the better choice for helping your middle schooler learn how to write a proper book report. If you know that your safety-conscious ex-husband has been looking forward to helping your teen learn to drive since she was in diapers and you can’t go more than two months without getting pulled over, let him handle this task.

Finally, you must avoid feelings of envy towards your ex. Resist the urge to compare who has a nicer post-divorce home, who has more free time, or who has a more successful dating life. Making comparisons will lead to irrational decision-making. Focus on being content with the blessings in your own life. If you make peace with how your post-divorce life is going, you'll be able to focus fully on doing what is best for your children.

How Can We Help?

Please call our office at (626) 683-8113 or email us at if you are a parent in need of legal representation with a child custody, visitation, or child support related issue. Our Pasadena family law attorneys can work to find a solution that best meets the needs of both you and your child.