Once your Pasadena divorce lawyer takes care of all the necessary paperwork, you will no longer be legally married to your ex. In the eyes of the law, you'll be free to move on with your life. But it's hard to accomplish this goal if you're still holding a grudge because your ex cheated on you, lied to you, or somehow managed to get a better divorce settlement than you expected.
Forgiveness is not about condoning bad behavior or forgetting the wrongs of the past. Forgiveness is about making a conscious decision to be happy and to move forward with your life. Forgiveness means acknowledging the anger, blame, and hurt from the past and giving yourself permission to heal your soul.
One benefit of forgiveness that many divorced people experience is that it leaves them feeling empowered. By making the decision to forgive their ex, they go from being a helpless victim of circumstance to someone who is empowered and in control of what the future will bring. Forgiving your ex is not for his or her benefit; it is a tool to help you get started on the next chapter of your life.
If you have children with your ex, forgiveness sets a wonderful example for them. By being the "bigger" person, you minimize the emotional burden of divorce on their lives and make it easier to establish a successful co-parenting relationship.
Everyone learns to forgive on their own timetable, so don't worry if you're not ready to let go of the past right away. However, if your Pasadena divorce has left you with toxic anger levels that are affecting your performance at work or your relationships with others, it might be a good idea to speak to a counselor who can help you find positive coping strategies or seek advice from a trusted spiritual leader.