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Divorcing a Narcissist

Escaping the Ego

The marriage to the person you once thought was the partner of your dreams is coming back to reality. You’re noticing troubling signs of egotism and manipulation, and you’ve determined that the best thing you can do is get out of that relationship. Filing for divorce from a narcissist and enduring through the process, however, can be one of the more challenging experiences you may face.

While never easy, taking steps to protect yourself from your narcissistic spouse during your divorce is important. Here are some signs of narcissism to watch out for as well as steps you can take to help your divorce from your spouse go as smoothly as possible.

Noticing the Narcissism

If you are unsure whether or not your spouse is a narcissist, there are signs to consider that might help you make that determination. The following are several signs of narcissism:

  • An overinflated sense of self-importance.

  • A need to be the center of attention in all aspects of life.

  • An extreme sense of entitlement.

  • An inability to empathize with how others are feeling.

  • A willingness to manipulate others, including you, in order to get what they want.

  • An inability to admit if they are wrong in anything.

While these signs are common in those with narcissism, you might not have the ability to officially diagnose them with narcissistic personality disorder. Regardless, noticing these signs and doing research on their connection to narcissism should lead you to look for a way out of the relationship. These behaviors are unacceptable in any relationship, especially a marriage, and you should do whatever is necessary to protect yourself from this type of person.

A Shift in Behavior

When you do decide to leave your narcissistic spouse, you might notice that their behavior will change, albeit that behavior will remain toxic. Rather than try to get you to stay, they may turn that around and enact some sort of revenge to get even with you for leaving them. Their tactics in the divorce will become dirty, and you may end up on the defensive.

This shift in behavior can be difficult to manage with the other items currently at your attention. As a result, you may struggle with your mental health during this period, and you may start to feel overwhelmed by all that is going on. It is important to build your circle of support in order to help you manage all that you are feeling at this time.

Fighting the Dirty Tricks

Now that the process of divorce has started, your spouse will begin to engage in tactics that may make your life a nightmare. They may drag out proceedings just to spite you or intimidate you through other means. However, this is not a time to give up the fight. There are things you can do to protect yourself while fighting through the legal process in front of you.

  • Plan ahead for what may be to come. Your spouse may not be willing to negotiate on anything, so it is important to expect a lengthy court case.

  • Limit your interactions with your spouse and set other boundaries for communication and face-to-face conversation.

  • Begin preparing evidence to fight against any lies your spouse may tell in order to gain an advantage or paint you in a negative light during the divorce.

  • Arm yourself with a support group centered around a skilled divorce attorney.

Your battle against your spouse may not be easy at times, but arming yourself with these tips can give you an advantage heading into your legal battle.

Utilize a Pasadena Divorce Attorney

One of the most important tools available at your use is an attorney capable of handling your case and fighting the attacks of your spouse. At Schweitzer Law Partners, we know that divorce is not easy, especially when leaving a narcissist. Our goal is to protect you throughout the process while fighting for your rights and aiming for the best possible outcome. Your next chapter is coming; let us help you turn the page.


To speak with a member of our team, call our office at (626) 788-5225 or visit us online.

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